Posts

You are too pretty to be chasing after guys

I just got done with a workout sesh. A much needed session to clear my thoughts. This weekend was a wake up call. I went to Wendover and met up with Mercedes, Leno, and his Mom. It was around 2-3am and I was using the slot machines. I ran out of money that I had put in one machine and Mercedes and I were just talking.....about life and my dating life. Mercedes told me, "You are too pretty to be chasing guys...." and that's when it hit me and this is something I have not forgotten all weekend. I AM too pretty to be chasing guys. Why should I be chasing guys? Why, for 29 years, do I have to "convince" someone to date me (Albert, aka Ex #1), why do I have to convince someone that I am trustworthy, loyal, happy, fun to be around, etc. Guys that I normally text, I didn't text this weekend. I can not even tell you how sick I am of going after guys. It's not fair to me that I don't have a boyfriend, that I'm not married, that I don't have kids, bu

What dating life?

My dating life the past month and a half has been pretty much non-existent. I don't think I have gone out on a date or even kissed a guy since....January maybe? As much as I want the attention, cuddles, and love, every day is getting easier to be alone. I have noticed, as I talk with some of my friends, that people really do get used to being alone. And they are okay with it. I don't know if I'm okay with it, but it is easier. I talk to guys every day, but there have been way too many crazies lately. Part of me wants to remove online dating altogether. I haven't had much success and would much rather meet someone in person. It is a little bit hard though when I'm at work all the time. I don't want to meet anyone at the bar. Oh that reminds me. I was at the club with Marcos, Mercedes, and Leno a few weeks ago and I get a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and there are two guys right there, pointing to another guy saying he tapped me. The other guy happened to be

Valentine's Day 2015 - It's OK to be alone

If Valentine's Day was three months ago, I would not have made it. I would have probably cried, been lonely and sad. But since it's been 4 1/2 months since my ex broke up with me, I'm in a much better place than I was a few months ago. In fact, I never thought I would really be at this point. I am not 100% but I am probably 90% when it comes to being alone and being OK with being alone. It doesn't mean that I always want to be alone, but it is nice on Valentine's Day 2015 to just run errands like it's a typical Saturday. I have not gone in a date in a few weeks. Half by choice and the other half because there isn't really anyone I want to spend more time with than another. I don't know where to meet people anymore. School, work, and online seem to be the top options. When I was in school, I was in relationships the whole time. Last week I went out dancing which was SO fun and much needed. I felt amazing and it was nice to just have a girls night! I did

Embracing Single Life: What 'I'm Doing Me' Really Means in Dating and Self-Discovery

What does it mean when someone says, "Do You", "Spend Time on You", "I'm Doing Me", I have always wondered that because after four months of being single, I am getting that more from people. To focus on me and do what I want to do and then someone might come along. But how do I know when I'm done "doing me?" if it's such an activity. What if I'm not done "doing me" and someone walks into my life? Do I stop doing that to focus on him? If so, how do I know he is even "the one" anyway? In case you can't tell, I over analyze. A lot. One day I want to be single and date other people and the next, missing having someone there. Actually, every day, without fail, I do think of having someone there, being in a relationship, someone to call, someone to message every day, someone to cuddle with, someone to watch games with. So if this is my mindset, is it still okay to focus on me, yet in the back of my mind be thi

Freebies and Prizes I Won in 2015: A Year of Surprising Wins and Giveaways

Some of you may not know but, although I am not an extreme couponer and I am not cheap, I love to win things! Most of the time I win things through Facebook contests and giveaways/sweepstakes. Last year I won quite a bit and I wanted to start from the beginning of January 2015, and share everything I receive this year in a blog post. Let's see if it's worth putting time into. Here is what I have won so far in 2015: - $25 Texas Roadhouse gift card -- Used in March 2015 - Fabric patterns (Valued at $100+) Sold to my sister for $10 - Animal applesauce containers - Sold to my sister for $5 - Downtown Abbey prize pack- Over $100 value -- Sold all for $30 - Digital Kitchen Scale - Sold for $10 -A necklace + Two Earrings from an Etsy Shop -Free E-Book - $25 Etsy gift card - Eve of Joy -Two tickets to the Utah State Basketball game (Couldn't go, didn't pick up tickets) -Burlap Pillowcase - Gave to my sister -All Natural Chapstick -Downloadable Planner -One silver

New Year's Resolutions + Other Randoms

I have always been a big fan of New Year's Resolutions. It doesn't mean I have always accomplished everything but it does give me something to strive for. In 2014, I did not hit ANY of my goals. So I'm being more realistic this year. Goal's are made to be realistic anyways, right? Here were my 2014 goals: $5,000 in Savings Get Engaged Publish my Book Run a 5K Be at 125lbs Start a business Get a raise Get off Zoloft Here are my 2015 goals: Publish my Book Finish and complete a second book (Not necessarily publish) Lose 20 pounds by May (Hawaii!) Exercise 2-3X per week Be cautious of my gambling habits (Set limits) Find out what happiness is My book is currently in the Design stage which takes about 1-2 weeks to complete. I have also started working on another book. You can click HERE to read more about my second book. You can also click HERE to "like" my first book's Facebook page. Every other blog, or every othe

Christmas Holiday - Why am I alone?

The holidays are supposed to be full of happiness and excitement. I have come to the conclusion that I am 82% happy. I am not me. I am not my old self. I miss what was my other half. I miss what was love. I miss what was. I have to stop lying to myself. I miss Kevin. I would never get back with him but I have been thinking about him SO much lately. It's actually pretty ridiculous. I had several dreams about him. One being that he brushed off the fact that he had a girlfriend and wanted to get back with me. He haunts me. I try and move on and there he is. We had a mutual friend on Facebook and I HAD to delete him because I responded to something he said, and right above me was Kevin's comment. I do enjoy being single. Sometimes. Sometimes, like now, I just want to call someone. I want to tell someone all about my day. I want to snuggle. But I can't. It's just different. And I understand that I need to move on but I think I tried to move on too quickly. I am meant to be