Savvy with Abbie

Let me start out by saying I have never been married so I may be the wrong person to write a blog about marriage. I have been around for a long time, 30 years to be exact, and I have seen amazing relationships and I have seen relationships fall apart right before my eyes - my past relationships included. I have learned a few things by watching my relationships fail along with watching friends go through marriages, divorces, marriages, and relationships. Once again, although I have never been married, I do know that relationships and marriages have changed over time. When I was growing up, I felt like I was surrounded by positive and successful marriages. My Mom and Dad were married for 17 years before my Dad passed away, my Nana and Papa have been married for 30 years, my grandparents have been married 50 years, and most of my family relationships and marriages have been successful. I think it was a few years ago when I started to realize that marriage is not the same. Marriage is

Thursday, March 10, 2016 : For the first time in awhile, I feel so happy. So free. So outgoing. So positive. I don't know if it's because I'm FINALLY feeling better after being sick for 10 days (literally going to work and then coming home and going to bed every day), the weather is so much warmer and it's putting me in a better mood, I have been working out again, OR I feel free from not having to question every day whether or not I was in a relationship or exclusive. I never realized a burden that could have on me. I was exclusively dating someone and then over time, we just realized that a relationship is not what is right at this time. I cried for a day or two but ever since then, I think I have realized that it's just me now. How am I going to make the most of my life? I am not asking for a pity party but I am used to being heartbroken. Something always happens and usually it's the other person that says they don't want to be together for whatever reaso

Ten days ago I turned 30. I guess my birthday could have somehow been worse but let's just say that my amazing plans to spend my 30th in Paradise with Ryan who I hadn't seen in ten years....didn't happen. A day and a half before my flight I had the worst sore throat which led to a cough which is basically what I had right before New York. I knew right when it started that I would not be going to Hawaii. I knew it would knock me out. And sure enough I was at the doctor on my birthday. I should have been in Hawaii but I was so miserable. I worked until 3pm Monday and then stayed home for a few days. I moved my flight from Wednesday to Friday - trying to purposely force myself to get better - but unfortunately that is not how sickness works. So I decided to completely cancel my trip. Ugh. My 30th birthday was spent at home, on my couch, trying to sleep. Went to the doctors in the afternoon and they gave me an antibiotic. The sore throat went away after a few days and then I go

Thanksgiving is a day to analyze your life, the blessings, the amazing people in your life, your health, food, etc. and although I am grateful for all of that, I also see it as a day to analyze my life and where I want to be. Everyday must be Thanksgiving if that's the case :) Yes, this is another blog about the men in my life. And love. And everything I want and need in my life. One of my weaknesses, I would say, is that I do want to find someone to date/marry and sometimes that comes across as desperate/needy/going way too fast. I literally am just realizing this now. Once I hang out with someone, build that connection, and things are good, instead of just "going with the flow", I try and pry and see how the other person feels and where the other persons head is at. Turning 30 next week, I'm realizing the older I get, the more I realize I don't want to waste time. I will not date or hang out or talk to someone on a consistent basis if I don't see things go

Well, now that it's been two weeks since all of the drama ended (Kylan and I broke up, his ex-girlfriend messaged me, and finding out Kevin got married), I have been in a much better place. I am back to loving the single life, although I do miss being in a relationship. I miss having someone there to snuggle and watch movies with. But I absolutely love dancing. I love Gracie's. I love going out on weekends with my girlfriends and I love that I have been able to build great relationships with women. Usually I don't get along with ladies and would rather hang out with guys. But guys are dumb :) A few weeks ago I met this guy at Gracie's, man bun, super cute, and we messaged for awhile. This past weekend, met up with a few friends....and this upcoming weekend...Park City with my ladies! I will admit that I do think about being in a relationship all.the.time. but I am so used to being in one and I love being in one. I'm trying so hard to be patient, just wait, and rig

I'm just human. I have flaws. I try to keep my house clean but it isn't always clean. Same with my car. I don't take a lot of time to get ready in the morning but I still try to look, feel, and smell good. I sometimes speak my mind or say things I don't mean. But I'm only human. I fully understand now why people wait so long to get into a relationship. Or even a new relationship. I understand why time is so important. Two break-ups in less than a year is something I do not ever want to face again. I honestly am at the point where I don't trust anyone enough to date them. I literally told my cousin tonight I wanted to buy a one way ticket to California with no intention of coming back home. The reasoning was so that I wouldn't have to face life. Or face reality. Basically live a dream with no money and not sure where life would take me. A few hours later and I'm stepping back. Realizing that, yes, I do want to move, I do want to start over, I do want a

I just got done with a workout sesh. A much needed session to clear my thoughts. This weekend was a wake up call. I went to Wendover and met up with Mercedes, Leno, and his Mom. It was around 2-3am and I was using the slot machines. I ran out of money that I had put in one machine and Mercedes and I were just talking.....about life and my dating life. Mercedes told me, "You are too pretty to be chasing guys...." and that's when it hit me and this is something I have not forgotten all weekend. I AM too pretty to be chasing guys. Why should I be chasing guys? Why, for 29 years, do I have to "convince" someone to date me (Albert, aka Ex #1), why do I have to convince someone that I am trustworthy, loyal, happy, fun to be around, etc. Guys that I normally text, I didn't text this weekend. I can not even tell you how sick I am of going after guys. It's not fair to me that I don't have a boyfriend, that I'm not married, that I don't have kids, bu

What does it mean when someone says, "Do You", "Spend Time on You", "I'm Doing Me", I have always wondered that because after four months of being single, I am getting that more from people. To focus on me and do what I want to do and then someone might come along. But how do I know when I'm done "doing me?" if it's such an activity. What if I'm not done "doing me" and someone walks into my life? Do I stop doing that to focus on him? If so, how do I know he is even "the one" anyway? In case you can't tell, I over analyze. A lot. One day I want to be single and date other people and the next, missing having someone there. Actually, every day, without fail, I do think of having someone there, being in a relationship, someone to call, someone to message every day, someone to cuddle with, someone to watch games with. So if this is my mindset, is it still okay to focus on me, yet in the back of my mind be thi

I can say that after eight weeks and four days, I am officially okay with dating and officially okay with being single. Although I do wish for a magic genie  (or God, either one)  to just provide me with my husband and I don't have to go through dating but such is life. There is one thing I do not understand. I have been told over and over that if I don't like somebody or if I don't see it going anywhere, tell them I'm not interested in the nicest way possible. I don't like telling people I'm not interested because I feel that that in itself is mean. But, I have had to do it twice and both times, I was called an "asshole" and the other said, "F*** you." It's like, if I'm honest (and not even rude), I get in trouble. But then if I don't tell them, then I'm "leading them on" which eventually leads to the same ending. So with the latter one, I was messaging him on Facebook today. Let me reword that. He messaged me ove

It's been exactly seven weeks since Kevin broke up with me. I thought things would get easier and for awhile they were. But man. I went three weeks without crying and then out of NOWHERE I cry. Why? I miss his nieces and nephews lol. I literally cried for hours. I miss little Brookey Babe, Easty Babe, Huddy Buddy, and Cars. So I did let him know. Honestly, I don't care about his relationship. But I did message him and let him know that I missed his family. And he responded back and said he missed my nieces too. And my whole family. I have been thinking the last few days about him. I go out on a date to La Costa or Texas Roadhouse and all I think about is how he used to sit next to me....never across from each other. As I wear my Utah Utes hoodie, I miss going to games with him. Instead, I am sitting at home by myself watching the game. It really isn't fair but I know there is someone out there for me. Someone that I can build memories with. To be honest, when I dated Albert