Christmas Holiday - Why am I alone?
The holidays are supposed to be full of happiness and excitement. I have come to the conclusion that I am 82% happy. I am not me. I am not my old self. I miss what was my other half. I miss what was love. I miss what was. I have to stop lying to myself. I miss Kevin. I would never get back with him but I have been thinking about him SO much lately. It's actually pretty ridiculous. I had several dreams about him. One being that he brushed off the fact that he had a girlfriend and wanted to get back with me. He haunts me. I try and move on and there he is. We had a mutual friend on Facebook and I HAD to delete him because I responded to something he said, and right above me was Kevin's comment. I do enjoy being single. Sometimes. Sometimes, like now, I just want to call someone. I want to tell someone all about my day. I want to snuggle. But I can't. It's just different. And I understand that I need to move on but I think I tried to move on too quickly. I am meant to be