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Showing posts with the label nieces

Christmas Holiday - Why am I alone?

The holidays are supposed to be full of happiness and excitement. I have come to the conclusion that I am 82% happy. I am not me. I am not my old self. I miss what was my other half. I miss what was love. I miss what was. I have to stop lying to myself. I miss Kevin. I would never get back with him but I have been thinking about him SO much lately. It's actually pretty ridiculous. I had several dreams about him. One being that he brushed off the fact that he had a girlfriend and wanted to get back with me. He haunts me. I try and move on and there he is. We had a mutual friend on Facebook and I HAD to delete him because I responded to something he said, and right above me was Kevin's comment. I do enjoy being single. Sometimes. Sometimes, like now, I just want to call someone. I want to tell someone all about my day. I want to snuggle. But I can't. It's just different. And I understand that I need to move on but I think I tried to move on too quickly. I am meant to be

Living Single and Enjoying Single

Two months ago I never thought I would be at this point. I am back to my normal self and I am starting to enjoy things. I go on dates, take care of myself, relax, and bowl every Sunday. The past two weeks have been AMAZING. Like really beyond amazing. A week and a half ago to celebrate my birthday, Sister Amanda, KC, and the three girls went to Vegas and California with me. I did not realize how much I needed my California family. Nana and Amanda took it upon themselves to have a birthday celebration for me at my favorite pizza place - Klondike's! Then back home for cake and ice cream. I have never felt more love than that night. And to have Morgan there too was great. He is an amazing person. Last week was my birthday week and I celebrated by getting a massage, shopping, and going to the Jazz game with Jason. I could not have asked for a better birthday. And being single did not stop me from having a great time. Believe it or not, Kevin did text me on my birthday. I didn

Seven Weeks Post Break-Up

It's been exactly seven weeks since Kevin broke up with me. I thought things would get easier and for awhile they were. But man. I went three weeks without crying and then out of NOWHERE I cry. Why? I miss his nieces and nephews lol. I literally cried for hours. I miss little Brookey Babe, Easty Babe, Huddy Buddy, and Cars. So I did let him know. Honestly, I don't care about his relationship. But I did message him and let him know that I missed his family. And he responded back and said he missed my nieces too. And my whole family. I have been thinking the last few days about him. I go out on a date to La Costa or Texas Roadhouse and all I think about is how he used to sit next to me....never across from each other. As I wear my Utah Utes hoodie, I miss going to games with him. Instead, I am sitting at home by myself watching the game. It really isn't fair but I know there is someone out there for me. Someone that I can build memories with. To be honest, when I dated Albert