Savvy with Abbie

Photo credit: Amazon Back in 2012-2013 when I had the worst anxiety of my life, I asked the online world on what I could or should do to help eliminate this anxious and worrisome phase. One person recommended that I read "The Four Agreements". Due to the anxiety and not being able to concentrate on one thing for too long before freaking out, I only read through a few pages. In 2018 I decided to buy the book again and see if there was a way I could make things better for myself. I had moved to California the previous year but lost my job almost two months ago. I had time to read so I decided to see what this book was about and how it could help me maintain my confidence throughout this hard time. This book was extremely powerful to me. I'm not sure why but I got sucked in. I could not put the book down. I like seeing others perspectives on life. Before going into the four agreements, the author spends quite a bit discussing how we are all born and raised believing

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man Photo Credit: Amazon If I could go back in time, back to my teenage years, back to when I only read books in school because I was forced to, I wish I could have forced myself to read this one book - Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey . I read this book at age 32 and, looking back, everything that I put myself through in my dating life is all spelled out in this book. Although maybe my younger self may have not understood the book the way I do now. After experiencing many of the ups and downs, the positive and negative situations, I believe that without these life experiences, I wouldn't be where I am today. I have actually found someone that appreciates and loves me for me and my flaws, who has more confidence in me than I have in myself, who is my support and one of my best friends. If you don't like truth, especially in dating and relationships, you may find this book very difficult to read. It discusses mature to

Two weeks ago tomorrow, I was having one of those days. Those days that are hard to explain because they happen so rarely. Nothing seemed to make me happy and nothing, to be honest, was going my way. I tried to put on a smile as I attended a gorgeous wedding on the beach where words can't describe that perfect sunset. This was the type of wedding that I had always dreamed of when I was younger. Food was being cooked right in the sand as the bride and groom said their vows, the weather was a little chilly but the sunset made up for everything on the exterior. My forced smile popped out here and there but only because I would be focusing in that moment and not of the others that surrounded me. I had dropped my phone somewhere between my parked car and the beach and didn't have the energy or strength to grind through the sand and do a full-on search. It was rather nice at times to not have my phone but the awkardness around me made me wish I had it. All those colors of the sunset

Today is the day of love and I have to say lately, I have been feeling loved. I am trying to be a happy, positive person and trying to enjoy and love life. But. Let's take a step back. Here's what has happened in the last three weeks: -Bronco's won the SUPERBOWL! -Mom got married on February 10, 2016 -I made 100 cupcakes for Mom's wedding -Jared and I have been spending a lot of time together - and he was my Valentine's date -Utah Jazz were on a 7 game winning streak and now they are in 8th place -Susy and Timmy were here a few days ago and Timmy is the cutest <3 nbsp="" p=""> Jared showed up today and as soon as I opened the door, he said, "Happy Valentine's Day" and had a huge bouquet of roses! My favorite. We went and bought ingredients to cook Chicken Parmesan, Salad, and Toast and it was amazing! Things to look forward to: -A three-day work week -Cousin, Timmy, Michael, and Stephen coming out -Gym 2-3X this

Thursday, March 10, 2016 : For the first time in awhile, I feel so happy. So free. So outgoing. So positive. I don't know if it's because I'm FINALLY feeling better after being sick for 10 days (literally going to work and then coming home and going to bed every day), the weather is so much warmer and it's putting me in a better mood, I have been working out again, OR I feel free from not having to question every day whether or not I was in a relationship or exclusive. I never realized a burden that could have on me. I was exclusively dating someone and then over time, we just realized that a relationship is not what is right at this time. I cried for a day or two but ever since then, I think I have realized that it's just me now. How am I going to make the most of my life? I am not asking for a pity party but I am used to being heartbroken. Something always happens and usually it's the other person that says they don't want to be together for whatever reaso

Thanksgiving is a day to analyze your life, the blessings, the amazing people in your life, your health, food, etc. and although I am grateful for all of that, I also see it as a day to analyze my life and where I want to be. Everyday must be Thanksgiving if that's the case :) Yes, this is another blog about the men in my life. And love. And everything I want and need in my life. One of my weaknesses, I would say, is that I do want to find someone to date/marry and sometimes that comes across as desperate/needy/going way too fast. I literally am just realizing this now. Once I hang out with someone, build that connection, and things are good, instead of just "going with the flow", I try and pry and see how the other person feels and where the other persons head is at. Turning 30 next week, I'm realizing the older I get, the more I realize I don't want to waste time. I will not date or hang out or talk to someone on a consistent basis if I don't see things go

Every blog I have written seems to have the same message. I like a guy, I drop everything, I put 100% of my effort and time into him.....and then he breaks my heart. Story of my life. I'm not writing this to be pitied or negative. I'm just writing this to be realistic. With the guy in my previous post, once again, spending time with him was amazing. He treated me so good and we laughed ALL the time. At least within a three week time span. Now in this case, he never said he didn't want to see me or he didn't like me, or have a lame reason (such as I don't take long enough to get ready) of why he didn't want to see me. In fact, I truly don't know at this exact moment if he does or does not like me. I hardly saw him last week. In fact, just a few hours, lunch on Saturday, in which he invited me. I never asked him if he wanted to hang out. I had assumed that I wouldn't see him that day because I had the Shania Twain concert and had to leave around 5:30. We s

I'm just human. I have flaws. I try to keep my house clean but it isn't always clean. Same with my car. I don't take a lot of time to get ready in the morning but I still try to look, feel, and smell good. I sometimes speak my mind or say things I don't mean. But I'm only human. I fully understand now why people wait so long to get into a relationship. Or even a new relationship. I understand why time is so important. Two break-ups in less than a year is something I do not ever want to face again. I honestly am at the point where I don't trust anyone enough to date them. I literally told my cousin tonight I wanted to buy a one way ticket to California with no intention of coming back home. The reasoning was so that I wouldn't have to face life. Or face reality. Basically live a dream with no money and not sure where life would take me. A few hours later and I'm stepping back. Realizing that, yes, I do want to move, I do want to start over, I do want a

As I write this, I am not very happy. Although this may reflect the moment, this may not reflect how I feel overall. At this exact moment, I thought I had everything. Things were finally starting to look up for me and, although I had enjoyed my time being single, I was also able to give that up for someone that I truly cared for. Care for. I still care for him. Things just aren't the same and the last day or so, I have been extremely negative not thinking that I am good enough. What I feel right now is not something that I pictured I would feel any time soon. But here I am feeling more alone than ever. Life takes a lot of unexpected turns. I didn't look for love, instead, it found me. But then why do I feel so alone and so distant and so unloving and so unloved? I don't know. I had a good weekend and things were just fine. Sometimes things just don't go as planned. I give up. I don't know what to do or how to do it.

I just got done with a workout sesh. A much needed session to clear my thoughts. This weekend was a wake up call. I went to Wendover and met up with Mercedes, Leno, and his Mom. It was around 2-3am and I was using the slot machines. I ran out of money that I had put in one machine and Mercedes and I were just talking.....about life and my dating life. Mercedes told me, "You are too pretty to be chasing guys...." and that's when it hit me and this is something I have not forgotten all weekend. I AM too pretty to be chasing guys. Why should I be chasing guys? Why, for 29 years, do I have to "convince" someone to date me (Albert, aka Ex #1), why do I have to convince someone that I am trustworthy, loyal, happy, fun to be around, etc. Guys that I normally text, I didn't text this weekend. I can not even tell you how sick I am of going after guys. It's not fair to me that I don't have a boyfriend, that I'm not married, that I don't have kids, bu

My dating life the past month and a half has been pretty much non-existent. I don't think I have gone out on a date or even kissed a guy since....January maybe? As much as I want the attention, cuddles, and love, every day is getting easier to be alone. I have noticed, as I talk with some of my friends, that people really do get used to being alone. And they are okay with it. I don't know if I'm okay with it, but it is easier. I talk to guys every day, but there have been way too many crazies lately. Part of me wants to remove online dating altogether. I haven't had much success and would much rather meet someone in person. It is a little bit hard though when I'm at work all the time. I don't want to meet anyone at the bar. Oh that reminds me. I was at the club with Marcos, Mercedes, and Leno a few weeks ago and I get a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and there are two guys right there, pointing to another guy saying he tapped me. The other guy happened to be

If Valentine's Day was three months ago, I would not have made it. I would have probably cried, been lonely and sad. But since it's been 4 1/2 months since my ex broke up with me, I'm in a much better place than I was a few months ago. In fact, I never thought I would really be at this point. I am not 100% but I am probably 90% when it comes to being alone and being OK with being alone. It doesn't mean that I always want to be alone, but it is nice on Valentine's Day 2015 to just run errands like it's a typical Saturday. I have not gone in a date in a few weeks. Half by choice and the other half because there isn't really anyone I want to spend more time with than another. I don't know where to meet people anymore. School, work, and online seem to be the top options. When I was in school, I was in relationships the whole time. Last week I went out dancing which was SO fun and much needed. I felt amazing and it was nice to just have a girls night! I did

I have always been a big fan of New Year's Resolutions. It doesn't mean I have always accomplished everything but it does give me something to strive for. In 2014, I did not hit ANY of my goals. So I'm being more realistic this year. Goal's are made to be realistic anyways, right? Here were my 2014 goals: $5,000 in Savings Get Engaged Publish my Book Run a 5K Be at 125lbs Start a business Get a raise Get off Zoloft Here are my 2015 goals: Publish my Book Finish and complete a second book (Not necessarily publish) Lose 20 pounds by May (Hawaii!) Exercise 2-3X per week Be cautious of my gambling habits (Set limits) Find out what happiness is My book is currently in the Design stage which takes about 1-2 weeks to complete. I have also started working on another book. You can click HERE to read more about my second book. You can also click HERE to "like" my first book's Facebook page. Every other blog, or every othe

It's been exactly seven weeks since Kevin broke up with me. I thought things would get easier and for awhile they were. But man. I went three weeks without crying and then out of NOWHERE I cry. Why? I miss his nieces and nephews lol. I literally cried for hours. I miss little Brookey Babe, Easty Babe, Huddy Buddy, and Cars. So I did let him know. Honestly, I don't care about his relationship. But I did message him and let him know that I missed his family. And he responded back and said he missed my nieces too. And my whole family. I have been thinking the last few days about him. I go out on a date to La Costa or Texas Roadhouse and all I think about is how he used to sit next to me....never across from each other. As I wear my Utah Utes hoodie, I miss going to games with him. Instead, I am sitting at home by myself watching the game. It really isn't fair but I know there is someone out there for me. Someone that I can build memories with. To be honest, when I dated Albert

I will never see Kevin again. I had his hoodie and left it on my porch tonight. I told myself (and God when I prayed) if he came over and knocked or asked if he could come in (he knew I was home) then I knew he cared about me and there was a possibility there was another chance for "us" to work out. If he didn't, he doesn't care. Although I knew I didn't want to see him because it would be even harder to move on and I didn't want to cry and I didn't want to cry and have him walk away like he did the night he broke up with me, part of me still wanted me to see him. But I'm okay with this. This is what is best for me. I have learned a few things since we have broken up. Especially with what I want in a husband. I want someone that shares my passion with sports. I love watching football (I'm watching the Broncos game now!) and basketball and love going to games. How can I marry someone who just doesn't? I also love social media and that's w