Savvy with Abbie

I'm just human. I have flaws. I try to keep my house clean but it isn't always clean. Same with my car. I don't take a lot of time to get ready in the morning but I still try to look, feel, and smell good. I sometimes speak my mind or say things I don't mean. But I'm only human. I fully understand now why people wait so long to get into a relationship. Or even a new relationship. I understand why time is so important. Two break-ups in less than a year is something I do not ever want to face again. I honestly am at the point where I don't trust anyone enough to date them. I literally told my cousin tonight I wanted to buy a one way ticket to California with no intention of coming back home. The reasoning was so that I wouldn't have to face life. Or face reality. Basically live a dream with no money and not sure where life would take me. A few hours later and I'm stepping back. Realizing that, yes, I do want to move, I do want to start over, I do want a

I just got done with a workout sesh. A much needed session to clear my thoughts. This weekend was a wake up call. I went to Wendover and met up with Mercedes, Leno, and his Mom. It was around 2-3am and I was using the slot machines. I ran out of money that I had put in one machine and Mercedes and I were just talking.....about life and my dating life. Mercedes told me, "You are too pretty to be chasing guys...." and that's when it hit me and this is something I have not forgotten all weekend. I AM too pretty to be chasing guys. Why should I be chasing guys? Why, for 29 years, do I have to "convince" someone to date me (Albert, aka Ex #1), why do I have to convince someone that I am trustworthy, loyal, happy, fun to be around, etc. Guys that I normally text, I didn't text this weekend. I can not even tell you how sick I am of going after guys. It's not fair to me that I don't have a boyfriend, that I'm not married, that I don't have kids, bu