Savvy with Abbie

Let me start out by saying I have never been married so I may be the wrong person to write a blog about marriage. I have been around for a long time, 30 years to be exact, and I have seen amazing relationships and I have seen relationships fall apart right before my eyes - my past relationships included. I have learned a few things by watching my relationships fail along with watching friends go through marriages, divorces, marriages, and relationships. Once again, although I have never been married, I do know that relationships and marriages have changed over time. When I was growing up, I felt like I was surrounded by positive and successful marriages. My Mom and Dad were married for 17 years before my Dad passed away, my Nana and Papa have been married for 30 years, my grandparents have been married 50 years, and most of my family relationships and marriages have been successful. I think it was a few years ago when I started to realize that marriage is not the same. Marriage is

I won't even lie. This week was so stressful. I can't necessarily pinpoint a certain thing but I feel that it may be a combination of events. I feel like I have completely changed my life the last 29 days. Or events in my life have changed the last 29 days. It's funny how one second I can be super excited and the next, super sad and depressed. Unfortunately, it was this whole week. I did go to the Jazz game with my niece, Emerson, on Monday, and then the Jazz game again on Wednesday with Jared. I had fun but there is still a part of me that isn't used to this new lifestyle. I guess you can say that I am dating someone who is very special to me. It's in the early stages so I won't go on and on, but he makes me extremely happy. I am not out every weekend like I was last year. It's been at least 2-3 weeks since I have been out dancing or out at the club. This is just a new routine and new life. Although I had fun dancing all the time and meeting new people, the

I just got done with a workout sesh. A much needed session to clear my thoughts. This weekend was a wake up call. I went to Wendover and met up with Mercedes, Leno, and his Mom. It was around 2-3am and I was using the slot machines. I ran out of money that I had put in one machine and Mercedes and I were just talking.....about life and my dating life. Mercedes told me, "You are too pretty to be chasing guys...." and that's when it hit me and this is something I have not forgotten all weekend. I AM too pretty to be chasing guys. Why should I be chasing guys? Why, for 29 years, do I have to "convince" someone to date me (Albert, aka Ex #1), why do I have to convince someone that I am trustworthy, loyal, happy, fun to be around, etc. Guys that I normally text, I didn't text this weekend. I can not even tell you how sick I am of going after guys. It's not fair to me that I don't have a boyfriend, that I'm not married, that I don't have kids, bu

If Valentine's Day was three months ago, I would not have made it. I would have probably cried, been lonely and sad. But since it's been 4 1/2 months since my ex broke up with me, I'm in a much better place than I was a few months ago. In fact, I never thought I would really be at this point. I am not 100% but I am probably 90% when it comes to being alone and being OK with being alone. It doesn't mean that I always want to be alone, but it is nice on Valentine's Day 2015 to just run errands like it's a typical Saturday. I have not gone in a date in a few weeks. Half by choice and the other half because there isn't really anyone I want to spend more time with than another. I don't know where to meet people anymore. School, work, and online seem to be the top options. When I was in school, I was in relationships the whole time. Last week I went out dancing which was SO fun and much needed. I felt amazing and it was nice to just have a girls night! I did

What does it mean when someone says, "Do You", "Spend Time on You", "I'm Doing Me", I have always wondered that because after four months of being single, I am getting that more from people. To focus on me and do what I want to do and then someone might come along. But how do I know when I'm done "doing me?" if it's such an activity. What if I'm not done "doing me" and someone walks into my life? Do I stop doing that to focus on him? If so, how do I know he is even "the one" anyway? In case you can't tell, I over analyze. A lot. One day I want to be single and date other people and the next, missing having someone there. Actually, every day, without fail, I do think of having someone there, being in a relationship, someone to call, someone to message every day, someone to cuddle with, someone to watch games with. So if this is my mindset, is it still okay to focus on me, yet in the back of my mind be thi

I can say that after eight weeks and four days, I am officially okay with dating and officially okay with being single. Although I do wish for a magic genie  (or God, either one)  to just provide me with my husband and I don't have to go through dating but such is life. There is one thing I do not understand. I have been told over and over that if I don't like somebody or if I don't see it going anywhere, tell them I'm not interested in the nicest way possible. I don't like telling people I'm not interested because I feel that that in itself is mean. But, I have had to do it twice and both times, I was called an "asshole" and the other said, "F*** you." It's like, if I'm honest (and not even rude), I get in trouble. But then if I don't tell them, then I'm "leading them on" which eventually leads to the same ending. So with the latter one, I was messaging him on Facebook today. Let me reword that. He messaged me ove