Posts

Showing posts with the label break up

That Final Day on the Beach

Two weeks ago tomorrow, I was having one of those days. Those days that are hard to explain because they happen so rarely. Nothing seemed to make me happy and nothing, to be honest, was going my way. I tried to put on a smile as I attended a gorgeous wedding on the beach where words can't describe that perfect sunset. This was the type of wedding that I had always dreamed of when I was younger. Food was being cooked right in the sand as the bride and groom said their vows, the weather was a little chilly but the sunset made up for everything on the exterior. My forced smile popped out here and there but only because I would be focusing in that moment and not of the others that surrounded me. I had dropped my phone somewhere between my parked car and the beach and didn't have the energy or strength to grind through the sand and do a full-on search. It was rather nice at times to not have my phone but the awkardness around me made me wish I had it. All those colors of the sunset

You are too pretty to be chasing after guys

I just got done with a workout sesh. A much needed session to clear my thoughts. This weekend was a wake up call. I went to Wendover and met up with Mercedes, Leno, and his Mom. It was around 2-3am and I was using the slot machines. I ran out of money that I had put in one machine and Mercedes and I were just talking.....about life and my dating life. Mercedes told me, "You are too pretty to be chasing guys...." and that's when it hit me and this is something I have not forgotten all weekend. I AM too pretty to be chasing guys. Why should I be chasing guys? Why, for 29 years, do I have to "convince" someone to date me (Albert, aka Ex #1), why do I have to convince someone that I am trustworthy, loyal, happy, fun to be around, etc. Guys that I normally text, I didn't text this weekend. I can not even tell you how sick I am of going after guys. It's not fair to me that I don't have a boyfriend, that I'm not married, that I don't have kids, bu